- Huge library of retro porn
- Video quality is pretty damn good
- Audio is a pretty bad experience
Oh the Good Old Times
Do you ever get together with your friends and talk about the way things used to be when you were younger? I know, I know to be able to do that you must first have some friends, but do me a solid one and imagine that you do. Like how you used to play outside until the sun came down, then later skipping school, meeting up with girls and all that jazz. Life was a lot simpler back then, we can all fucking agree on that without a doubt.
The thing is that those times remind us of when we didn’t have to go to work and actually be an adult and that is probably what made it so fucking amazing. All we thought about was how to beat our meats and which new pornstar we discovered in the last few weeks. Not much has changed, but we gotta go to work nowadays. There is something about those old pornos that can’t be described, I mean there’s a reason we started watching them.
Now some might say that they were better, but those are probably old memories coming back which are tied to more simpler times. Whatever it is, those old porn sluts knew exactly what they were doing with a cock. Not saying that these new ones do not, but it just seems that the older videos had something more to them, something I can’t really wrap my head around. Whatever the fuck it is, that is the reason why I keep coming back to vintage porn.
So what did I do? Exactly what every honest porn supported does, found a new website with some great retro pornography. Of course, there are more than just a few, but I decided to share with you the story of one which stands out, and that is ColorClimax. This is your opportunity to check out some of the older porn videos, and for you young bucks, you might get to learn something about the history of porno. Something we all need in our lives.
Let’s Start from the Beginning
Apparently, this porn site was created to be something of a family business. Believe it or not, two Danish brothers got together and decided to create their own business. Usually something like this means that they are looking to open a restaurant, or a bakery, but no. These two horny fuckers wanted to become porn producers and, of course, distributors. They put their heart and soul into this shit, because they wanted ColorClimax to be the next big thing.
The brothers did everything they could to make this the best porn company of its time, one that will continue through time. There was only one problem, back then all of this was not seen with such admiration from the enforcers of the law, so it was a hard thing to do. Luckily for all of us horny bastards today, we can look back on these videos without a worry in the world. Why> Because they are retrospectively legal. I know, gotta love the 21st century.
In today’s world, we can go to ColorClimax's website and watch all of their retro porn without anyone bothering us. No one to police us, or anything like that. They offer a huge library filled with retro pornos which we can beat our meat to. The more important thing, we are not here for the history of the damn site, but about the history and quality of its content. What I can tell you about all that is, you are up for a great ride my horny friends.
I did some digging, you know real detective shit, and found that these brothers were starting all of this back in the 60s. For some reason some governments were against porn, like all of them were living a monastery life or something. For some weird reason nakedness on camera was seen as a taboo. However, as you might know, stern parents create sneaky kids. What we need to do is appreciate websites like ColorClimax for providing us with everything we need.
Full-Length Porn Movies
Apparently ColorClimax had to fight a lot to stay afloat as their videos were not seen by the rest of the world for what seems like an eternity. They still managed to remain successful and sold quite a lot of content, but they were meant for bigger things. The mainstream success they deserved didn’t come back then, but we are here to change that. It is easy to watch their full-length porn movies all around the globe.
Not sure that you understand what full-length movies mean. That means that all of you horny bastards can jerk off multiple times to one of those movies. Make sure you bring your favorite lotion and a box of tissues to the couch with you. However, it also seems that most of the content here is not a hardcore as I would like for it to be. If I had to use one word to show you what type of porn this is, vanilla is probably the safest bet.
That doesn’t mean that they don’t have many categories, far from that. You will see all the good old guy on girl fucking and blowjobs. There are also quite a few threesomes both with two guys and one girl and MFF, there is a little bit of gay and trans content too. Don’t expect too much when it comes to categories, because those are non-existent. You will simply find a page with some porn videos on it and all the genres are grouped together.
This makes it a bit hard to find the right porn you want, but I promise you that ColorClimax definitely has what you are looking for. Obviously, don’t expect a lot of hardcore content, if any, but generally there is something for everyone. Content is quite mixed together, but it is really good, I had a chance to check some out and ended up jacking off three times before I can focus and get back to work. Hey, I need to get some stress out too you know.
What Are You Getting Here?
For those of you who are smart enough, you probably know that the website design is not gonna be anything to write home about. When you make it to the website you get greeted with the good old “explicit content” message, and you will have to agree that you are of legal age. Then you will enter the main page and get greeted by some pics of women sucking cock, getting fucked and showing off their pussies.
The message is clear for everyone to see, ColorClimax says that they are the biggest classic porn archive. Everyone is throwing the biggest and best titles around so easily, but there is a lot of content here. The latest updates are obviously first shown and you have to browse through pages to find what you are looking for. Scrolling down you will find some of their most popular DVDs too. I wholeheartedly recommend giving them a shot.
Once you decide to become a member you will notice that there are only two types of memberships, a monthly, and a yearly one. The first membership will run you for $24.95 and last you for 30 days. The yearly membership is cheaper on a monthly basis as it costs $9.99, but you will be paying in a single payment of $119.88. That is a bargain right there if you ask me, especially considering that you are getting all the classic porn you can think of.
It gets better, believe it or not. When you pay for membership on ColorClimax, you are getting full access to all the porn sites which fall under the AdultPrime Network. In case you didn’t know this allows you to check out over 20,000 videos and watch content from 95 studios. Analyzed, BrattyMILF, FetishPrime and MyMILF are just some of the porn sites which you will gain access to with this one membership.
Audio Leaves a Lot to Be Desired
There are no black and white videos here, so you can lay those expectations to rest. I personally don’t want to watch porn that old, but hey, different strokes for different folks. When you consider how old these videos are, they truly do look great. There is only one issue, and it can be a big one for some of you, the videos are voiced over after the whole thing got done. The audio is definitely not original, and honestly, it can make your ears bleed.
I fucking hate voiceovers, in movies, but especially in pornos. You can hear that the sounds in these videos come from a damn booth. Just thinking about some poor souls having to make sex noises for an hour or so is weird as hell. To make the whole thing worse, it is not the voiceovers that will make you go insane as they are not that bad, it is the damn music. Yes, there is fucking music in the background as well. Simply put, the audio is one hell of a mess.
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