Casumo

No Nut November Right?

This is my first time reviewing a non-porn website here so please bear with me. I know most of us are porn or sex addicts and we are enjoying that, there’s no shame in our game, but gambling can become an addiction too. So Casumo is a gambling website, unfortunately not one you can beat your meat to, but maybe you can beat yourself up after you spend your monthly paycheck on it? Nah, you are gonna win, I am just teasing you.

All jokes aside, the website was launched in 2012 and seems to be doing pretty well for itself when you take a look at the amount of people who are using it on a daily basis. Listen, the porn industry is a lucrative one, but gambling, it might be in a completely different stratosphere. There is so much money in casinos and gambling, that they decided to go virtual with it. I mean, fuck, money is never enough considering that there is no amount that can’t be spent.

Well listen you can come on Casumo play some games, make some money for yourself which you can later shift over to our favorite obsession which is porn. Listen, free porn is amazing, high-quality porn is great, but paying for HD porn with money you won at an online casino is the best! So, what’s the catch? There really isn’t one, all you gotta do is find the game you like to play and figure out how to win as much money as possible playing it.

Realistically speaking, gambling is something that brings a dose of excitement to your life, so it really isn’t much different from sex or porn. When you win, all these bells and whistles, as well as lights go off, that make you feel like the baddest man alive. Virtual slot machines are easy to play, and the best thing about it is that you can play them from your couch, yes, the same one you spend so much time jerking off on.

A Lot of Games a lot of Excitement

So what distinguishes a good online gambling website, or the one with online casino games? Some say that it is the bonuses, others say that it is the number of games they offer. Well, Casumo has you covered as they have more than 2000 online casino games for you to try, but who the hell is actually counting right? Whether you prefer fruits, stars, Egyptian symbols or any other virtual slot machine, there is almost 100% chance they have it.

I mentioned the bonuses, didn’t I? Those are rather important, especially to us cheapskates. If you are one of those bastards that goes to a casino with your friend and bet with their money, this is the place for you! I mean come on, you are betting with virtually no risk, and if you guys win, you might get a free drink or something. On Casumo, you are receiving bonuses from the website itself and you can gamble with the house’s money! A win-win situation!

So, there is a bonus for new players, this means that before you even sign up to the website you will need to tell them if you are looking to bet on sports or be an online casino player. This is simply due to the fact that the bonuses are different for each of them. For the casino you will get 20 free spins and a 100% bonus for deposits up to $300. When it comes to betting, the same is for deposits up to $250.

You can’t agree that Casumo offers some amazing bonuses to its new members, and it is an even greater incentive to use the platform. Add to that the fact that they do not charge a processing fee and you will see why they are able to take customers away from other competitors. Last but not least, you can make deposits in different currencies which seem to include cryptos as well. I mean who would forget those with all the craze surrounding them?

Didn’t I Mention Thousands of Games

Mobile games can be addictive, you know your boss has yelled at you at least once to get off your phone and actually do your work. That is why your bathroom breaks have become longer of course, come on, we’ve all been there. The only issue with Casumo is that you will start taking hour-long breaks and your boss might actually come in to check on you. Better have a valid excuse on hand and say that your stomach is just that messed up.

There is a seemingly endless amount of virtual slot machines here, regardless of the ones you prefer, they most likely have it. I mean there are so many that if you played one every day, it will take you years to go through them all. The website offers something for everyone who likes to gamble, I mean you just can’t go wrong with it. Don’t forget the jackpot games, if you like those, they are also easily available.

If you prefer more traditional gambling games like blackjack, roulette or anything of that sort, know that those are available too. However, there aren’t as many options available as there are for virtual slots. Don’t forget the live casino games which allow you to get the thrill of playing real world roulette on your laptop, from the comfort of your home. This gives you a shot to take a break and jerk off without making more than 10 steps. Convenient much.

You Might Want to Do Something About Your VPN

Unfortunately, Casumo is not available in every country in the world. I mean that sucks considering the incentives they offer to their users. We want to gamble but we just not necessarily want to gamble with our own money all the time! So, if you are from the US, you most likely won’t be able to gamble here, maybe something changes in the distant or not so distant future, but for now, you are shit out of luck.

Luckily, we all know about those amazing VPN apps and programs. One of these bad boys can change your life really. The Virtual Private Network allows you to change your virtual location, so that FBI agent who has been tracking you through your computer will be shocked to see you teleported to Uganda, Ukraine, or any other country that starts with U. Conspiracy theories aside, it will help you use Casumo and many other websites unavailable in your country.

Let’s Not Forget About Sports Betting

Virtual casino games are fun and all, but there are certain things that they can’t compete in with sports betting. I mean putting money that your favorite sports team will win is a show of loyalty, right? I mean, unless your favorite team is horrible, then you are just being borderline insane, or you have that much money to waste, whatever it is, your choice. Any sport goes, and that is the beauty of it, you can mix different sports to bet on.

I know it is not as cool as having a paper copy of your betting list in your hand, sitting in front of a TV and scratching the games that you got right, but it is the closest thing to it. Plus, you can do it from anywhere really, especially since there is a mobile app available on both Google Play and App Store. This means that at any point in time during your day you can simply use your phone and place a bet, it really is that simple.

Let me give you some advice, there are some teams you don’t ever want to bet on as they rarely come through. Some are just built to lose easy games, and before you know it, you are losing your money. So instead of saying that the mafia is setting up these games or calling these teams rubbish and start breaking everything around the house, just don’t bet on them. I am sure you are smart enough to figure out really quickly which are those damned teams!

Final Thoughts on Casumo

This is an online gambling website which gives you a lot of incentives. You are able to play over 2000 different virtual casino games, as well as some real time ones, all from the comfort of your home. Don’t forget the fact that they offer sports betting too and also keep in mind that you can bet on your favorite sports team from the comfort of your home through their mobile app which is available for both iOS and Android.